Thoughts from the Middle of Nowhere

I really don't know what to do at this time. I'm tired of everything. My Darling Wife hates me any more. I can't do anything right in her eyes. I try to understand and help her but she just gets upset with me. She has a bad day and it's I don't care and support her. I listen and try to help her just as she has explained to me I am supposed to and try to help and understand what is going on. Usually not good enough. If I don't feel exactly like she does I am an asshole. Now I have a bad day and it's get off your ass and suck it up, that's life. No understanding or support at all.

I've had enough. I don't know what to do. Leave or kill myself is all I can see. Help.

Something I heard in my many years of life is that the older your kids get the more they can hurt you. This is so true. My oldest really did a number on me today. She is mad at me for what I see as caring for her and My Darling Wife's relationship with each other and trying to help. I made everything worse.

I'm done. I just want to end it all. What use is life when all you do is screw everything up.

This weather we have had lately really has me down. The paper says that we have had only nine days in a row with temperatures that have not been above 27 degrees. They must really live in a banana belt. It hasn't got above 10 degrees around here in that same time frame and we have been as cold as 30 below. I am tired of this cold weather. It really drains it out of me and the cattle. It's real tough on things.

I know, my first entry in months was a couple of days ago and it was very negative according to some people. Was it poor of me to do that? Maybe, maybe not. The situation just really upset me.

I've had quite a few people commenting to me that I need to post more. They enjoyed my posts and missed them. I thank everybody for the encouragement. It was really appreciated. I guess the question really becomes, why did I quit posting? I really lost my motivation when my dad passed away and then when I was feeling a little more like posting the election news was really on hot and heavy. I could see which way the wind was blowing there and just had absolutely no motivation to say anything about it.

Let's see, quick ranch update. Everything is looking good around here. Some fall moisture, green grass and fat cows really put a smile on my face. Cattle markets and the economy put a frown on my face whenever I think about that situation. I'll get by this recession but I don't have to be happy about it and it's sure going to make the books look bad for a while. What's a person to do though? Beg for a government handout or just pull yourself up and get through it. I'll get through it.

Will I post more now? I don't know. I'll have to wait and see.

It definitely was a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Taken 8/16/2008.

Didn't I tell you this would happen when the wolf was first de-listed?

Judge puts wolf protection rules back in force

A federal judge has restored endangered-species protections for gray wolves in the Northern Rockies, derailing plans by three states to hold public wolf hunts in the fall.

U.S. District Judge Donald Molloy in Missoula granted a preliminary injunction late Friday restoring protections for the wolves in Montana, Wyoming and Idaho.

Molloy will eventually decide whether the injunction should be permanent. That would force the government back to the beginning in its effort to pass management of the animals to the states.

I sure enough did and now it has happened. The wolf is back under federal ESA protection since the states are incapable of managing them, at least according to this judge.

I love some of the reasoning involved here. The judge states that;

the states’ defense of property laws permit the killing of wolves in more circumstances than defense of property regulations under the ESA.

Which seems to indicate that people are allowed to blaze away at the wolf for no reason, but later he states that;

Because Idaho has committed to managing for at least 15 breeding pairs, its depredation control law is not likely to threaten the continued existence of the wolf in Idaho.

and

Montana’s depredation control law is not likely to threaten the continued existence of the wolf for the same reasons.

So at least two of the states involved have adequate protections according to him but he still paints us all with one brush.

I also can't understand why the talk in the decision revolves around protecting the introduced population of wolves in the Greater Yellowstone Area but then talks about the indigenous population of wolves in the Northwestern part of Montana in the same sentence. It seems to indicate that the wolves in the Northwestern part of Montana are also introduced when they are not. This conversation is all about the wolves having genetic distribution to other areas and how there is no proof that it has happened yet.

I will point out that there is no proof it hasn't happened yet either. Since, according to the International wolf center, a dispersing wolves, those leaving packs in search of their own mate, have been known to travel distances of 550 miles away form their home territory, it should be fairly easy for the wolves to exchange genetic information and we might never know. If it hasn't happened yet, maybe the more important question should be, why haven't the wolves been dispersing like they are known to do? Why hasn't the genetic transfer taken place yet? Maybe because they breed so prolifically that they don't need to.

I'm just sick and tired of the whole game. Whether it is wolves or something else. Sue, counter sue. Everybody is always wrong and there never seems to be a right answer. It just paralyzes the whole country and nothing ever gets accomplished except spend more money spinning our wheels. How useless.

The torment of human frustration, whatever its immediate cause, is the knowledge that the self is in prison, its vital force and "mangled mind" leaking away in lonely, wasteful self-conflict. Elizabeth Drew