Cowboy Wisdom

--Don't name a cow you plan to eat.
--Life ain't about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
--Keep skunks, bankers, and lawyers at a distance.
--Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
--Don't squat down with your spurs on.
--Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
--Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin you none.
--Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
--If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin.
--It don't take a genius to spot a sheep in a herd of cows.
--The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every mornin.
--If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.
--Only cows know why they stampede.
--Always drink upstream from the herd.
--If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.
--Letting the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
--Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
--When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
--Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's good to know what it was.
--Never miss a good chance to shut up.
--There are more horses asses than horses.
--There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
--There are three kinds of men:
The one that learns by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
--Most smart asses just don't fit all that well in a saddle.
--If you work for the man, ride for his brand.
--Solvin' problems is like throwin' cattle. Dig your heels on the big ones and grab the little ones 'round the neck.
--Like a good cowboy, a good hat just gets better as it gets older.